Seeking a Mentor? 8 tips to getting a YES

I received a message from a young designer (let’s call them Oliver) who wanted my guidance getting into UX. Their message was polite, thoughtful, and full of potential but as a busy professional, mum of 2 teenagers, and half-marathon trainee, I couldn't help but wonder ...

“What’s in it for me?”

That thought sparked this blog. While I didn’t take on mentoring Oliver, their outreach inspired me to outline the best practices (in my opinion) for making a “cold mentorship” request that resonates and leads to meaningful guidance.

1. Do your research

Mentors are more likely to respond positively if they feel you genuinely value their expertise. Take time to explore their work—check their LinkedIn, blog, or recent projects. Reference something specific that caught your attention.

Example:
“I admire your approach to accessibility in design, especially your work on [specific project]. It aligns with the challenges I’m tackling right now.”

2. Offer mutual value

Mentorship isn’t a one-way street. Even if you’re a student or early-career professional, you can still provide value. Offer to help them with tasks like project research, usability testing, or providing feedback from a fresh perspective.

Tip:
"Show how you’re committed to applying their advice and making the interaction worthwhile for them."

3. Acknowledge their time and boundaries

Recognise that you’re asking for their time, which may be limited. A simple acknowledgment of this can go a long way in making your request more respectful and thoughtful.

Example:
“I understand you’re busy, and I appreciate any time you can spare, even if it’s just 15 minutes.”

4. Start small

Don’t immediately request a large commitment, like ongoing mentorship. Instead, start by asking for a 15-30 minute chat or feedback on a specific project. This makes it easier for them to say yes and opens the door for future interactions.

Tip:
"Keeping the initial request manageable shows you respect their time."

5. Be flexible

Be flexible and open to whatever format or timing works best for the mentor—whether it’s a brief video call, email exchange, or async feedback. Flexibility shows you respect their commitments and are willing to make things easy for them.

Example:
“I’d be happy to connect via email or chat—whatever is most convenient for you.”

6. Clarify your intent

Be upfront about why you’re reaching out. Make sure they know it’s not a job pitch or networking request but an opportunity to gain insight and learn.

Tip:
This clarity helps potential mentors feel more comfortable engaging with you.

7. Be prepared with specific questions

Arrive at the conversation with thoughtful, targeted questions that demonstrate you’ve done your homework. Avoid vague questions like “How do I succeed in UX?” and instead focus on their expertise.

Example:
“What do you consider the most important elements of a UX portfolio for enterprise roles?”

“How do you measure the success of a design beyond aesthetics?”

8. Follow up and show impact

After your conversation, send a thank-you note expressing gratitude and share how you’ve applied their advice. This leaves a positive impression and can lead to future opportunities.

Building connections with intention

Reaching out to a potential mentor isn’t just about getting advice—it’s about building a relationship based on mutual respect and shared growth. By doing your homework, offering value, and respecting boundaries, you’ll increase your chances of hearing that all-important “Yes.”

"But what if they still say no? "

It’s important to remember that their decision likely isn’t personal. People have many commitments, and sometimes the timing simply isn’t right. If you receive a rejection, respond respectfully, thank them for considering your request, and keep the door open for potential future opportunities. This gracious approach will leave a positive impression—and you never know when they might be willing to connect down the road.

Example:
“Thank you for your feedback on my portfolio. I applied your suggestions and landed a second interview—I couldn’t have done it without your help.”